Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Zen and the Art of Bouncing, Or Else!

For those who bounce for a living, I recommend you consider meditation. This will help you deal with boisterous buffoons, skanky girls who want to get it on DURING your shift (a major no-no), annoying employees who are trying to steal from the till, and other evildoers.

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Breathe Deeply After Acting Too

It is critical to deep breathely at all times, no matter whether it's before, during or AFTER you rip out your opponent's throat.

Monday, September 3, 2007

Never Use a Knife If You Don't Have To

This is key. Unless your opponent tries to use a knife on you, and you disarm him, and he's somehow able to get another knife, so the two of you can fight knife-to-knife, NEVER, and I mean, NEVER, initiate a knife fight against a knife-less opponent.

Why?

Because I said so!

I am just being silly. Of course, you can use a knife...if the above conditions are met!

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Breathe Deeply...

This is just a reminder to breathe deeply. The lungs need oxygen, and so does your brain.